Our daughter is 21 today.
And no, the title is not suggestive of the fun to be had at this age. Get your mind right, this is a MOM blog!
As I scrolled way back through the memories on my social media from March 2nds shared, there are so many pictures and comments that are as clear in my mind’s eye as if it were yesterday. That’s very cliché, but there are reasons for such stereotypical reactions: they’re TRUE.
I remember that first weekend we were home, how it was a warm, clear Sunday where we took her to church (yes, that tiny!) and then watched our beloved undefeated Illini lose their first game to Ohio State (where did Matt Sylvester go after draining so many threes?).
I can feel the sunshine on our faces as I pushed her on the swings for the first time at the little park where we used to live.
“Where’s Josie?” was her favorite question when she finally (at 20 months) got a new sister.
It had to have been yesterday when I was holding her hand as we walked up to the preschool door, only for her to tell me, “I’m good from here, Mom.”
Hearing her voice as she sang softly along to one of the first songs she really played with her guitar.
Hearing her aggressive, single power clap after launching that really strong discus throw to get her on the record board in high school.
Listening to her laugh in a room full of her college friends and teachers at her judging banquet last year.
Those are clear as a bell.
And then there’s the others that are cloudy. Ones feel like they’re hidden behind the veil of time. I saw a picture today of Anna and my dad setting up on her new tool bench on what was probably her third birthday. My grandma was sitting there, too. I don’t remember that exact moment, but gosh I’m glad I have that picture. I’m cloudy on some of the details of her second birthday, probably because of aforementioned sister being born a few months before, but I do remember it having a monkey theme. I see her practicing free throws on our driveway, but I can’t pinpoint the date or age of her exactly. I remember being cold at her first state track meet, but I can’t remember what her face looked like when she finished competing that day.
Clear or cloudy, the blessing in all of this is that Anna has been a source of constant joy in our lives. As we mark her true entering adulthood, what is clear to me is that she knows exactly who she is, what she stands for, what she knows it true and good and right. There’s no cloud of uncertainty that causes her to not be able to stand firm in who she is. For that, I am clearly certain and also so thankful.
As I see parents with little ones (even littler ones than our twins), I have clear moments of wanting to run back. Have one more day to play outside with my kids. One more third birthday party with the workbench and my grandma, but what is abundantly clear (besides not being able to time travel) is that all those little, cloudy moments have led into forming this clearly incredible human being. While I can’t remember all the details to everything, I know for sure that Anna’s self-assurance, strong character, work ethic, and drive are in part because Joe and I tried to be as clear as we could with what mattered, but mostly because Anna is living out who God has made her to be. I have never been clearer about that.
So today, as we celebrate, states away, from our girl, I am looking back at photos to get clear visions of what may be a little cloudy. But mostly, I’m clearly celebrating the one that made me a mom first and clearly rejoicing in the best job title I ever earned 21 years ago.
Love you, Anna Grace Webel, clearly.