Time is a funny thing. I never have enough during the day and in the same breath, I feel like time stands still in certain pockets. The time around June 10, 2009, feels like one of those pockets of time that I can recall minute details from the string of days leading up to our third daughter’s, Amelia, birth. If I close my eyes, on this day and three days before it, I can remember what it was like to be 31 years old, a farmer’s wife, and mom of two little girls “already on the ground” as Farmer Joe would often say, and one more little girl to come very, very soon. I remember how the weather was so nice, much like it is today. I remember being so very, very tired. I remember walking around my parents’ new neighborhood with my 2 and 4-year-old girls hoping that the exercise would get this baby out. I remember looking out the window at the powwow of farmers in my driveway, contemplating the ridiculously wet and subsequently late spring planting season. I can also recall thinking that if my dad, my husband, my uncle and our landlord would just quit talking about it and get the crops in, this baby could come and I could have some help. I remember Joe standing in the doorway that night before she was born, exhausted from planting, telling me that beans were done and the baby could come. I remember a “pop” just a few hours later and my water breaking, leading us to rush to get childcare covered and to the hospital amidst terrible construction. I remember wanting the orderly to take me to a room in a wheelchair asking me all sorts of mundane questions and wanting her to stop talking so I could just breathe through contractions.
And then, there she was, our sweet Amelia Jane. Perfectly on time.
Amelia has rounded out our big girls with her spunky and sparky personality. She’s kind and thoughtful. Unassumingly talented, a super hard worker, and always thinking of ways to be helpful. I think her personality has made me realize the importance of time spent with someone. She is never in a hurry and never has been. When she was little, she always wanted to snuggle more, take a few more looks at something at a store/museum/park, talk with a friend a little longer, and tell a little longer story with more detail. As she has grown, she is usually the last one out of the practice/rehearsal/whatever. staying longer to visit or be helpful or prep for the next day.
Her sense of time is a ying to my rushed yang, and I am so thankful for it in the balance of our family dynamic.
Today, as we celebrate our newly minted 15-year-old (no permit yet…not enough time for driver’s ed in her college prep schedule! How ironic!), I decided to give her the gift of time. We spent a lovely afternoon together. Sure she has presents and fun planned, but time is what she wants the most, or at least time spent at Starbucks to get that free drink and the mall to recreate our 8-year-old Amelia photobooth fun. I’m happy to take time away from work to spend time with our girl. 15 is not as much of a milestone as the birthdays that will be coming soon, but I know that time will speed up and become more precious, so I will take that time to linger a little as we wander Ulta today. Time is the best gift today, a gift for me.
Dear Amelia Jane,
I hope you already know how much we love you and how proud we are of you. Your work ethic, strength of character, sense of humor and kindness make you such a joy to have around. I know that with all the kids and all the things, there are times that I take advantage of your helpfulness. Know that while I may forget to tell you, I am so thankful for you and appreciate who you are and who I see you becoming.
Keep a hold of that, sweet girl. There will be days that your cheerfulness, your helper spirit and your character will be tested. Keep working through it. Keep using it to be the best version of yourself that you can be and ignore the annoying stuff that will try to distract you along the way.
You have lofty goals and I am HERE FOR IT. Keep working hard to get where you want to be, and I’ll be right behind you, jumping on a plane to jet to wherever you end up. Even though it makes me a little sad to know that your goals will take you far from home, I will always take the time to be with you because your time with me is a gift.
I am so lucky to be your mom. Thanks for always being our sweet girl, our Silly Millie, and for bringing the good out in all of us.
Love you dearly,
Mom