“Three more years until I’m an adult, Mom.”
Our oldest turns 15 today, and I didn’t realize it until she said this that 15 is a really big number.
I was 15 on the 15th. It was a big day because it was my golden birthday. While Anna’s day is not golden per se, this birthday is a bit more significant than something that is golden, or the upcoming “sweet” one, or even the time when she can be called an adult.
Today signifies the first of some lasts for us.
It feels like this is the first of the last kid birthdays. This is the last time that we will pretty much dictate when and who and how her party or celebration of anything that we can squeeze into her packed schedule. This is the last birthday that we will be her sole mode of transportation. This birthday just feels like a start of a downward slide.
This one just feels different.
Not that different is always bad. Anna has moved into high school and teenager-hood with such grace and responsibility, it’s hardly even fair to start waxing poetic. She has and always will be the one who forges ahead with confidence, with hard work, with grit. She has created a path for her siblings that may seem daunting, but she is protective and helpful of their journey as much as she has set the bar of expectations high. Her leadership in our family is invaluable, and while again, she may feel like a third parent to her siblings at times, her ability to jump in a basically do whatever needs to be done has made this hectic and stressful time in our scheduled life easier.
While I can’t remember to put the birthday cinnamon rolls on the grocery list, I can remember everything about the (and I’ll say this EVERY YEAR) 36 hours of labor I endured with her. I remember the first time I saw her chubby hand with fingernails…hear this new moms, babies have crazy fingernails. I remember what it felt like to wake up our first morning at home and think that we were this little family, and we were so lucky to be entrusted with this tiny human.
Now this human almost looks over my head. This tiny human will start driving us around. This tiny human will start to pick and choose a life path that, while I sure hope includes my opinions, will be forged again by just her. I can’t wait to continue to watch this little girl who we watched walk, run, swim, bike, learn guitar, show cattle, lead a team, follow a path to know Christ in a way I only dreamed of when she was tiny.
This kind of feels last, but with lasts come so many firsts. I have been there for almost all of those firsts, and I’m hopeful to have a front row seat as we move into this new stage of “almost adulthood.”
Anna, we adore you. We marvel at your maturity. We are thankful for who you are, who you will become. Don’t worry about small things. Keep your big dreams and the big picture God has in store for you at the forefront of your planned life. We know you’re going to do great things, and we can’t wait to experience some more firsts, and lasts. Happy birthday, my darling girl.
Love, Mom