I just finished up the kitchen dishes. As I washed the serving tray from the steaks Joe had grilled for his own Father’s Day lunch, I glanced out my kitchen window. Jack, dressed in his work jeans and a ball cap, was riding his scooter, waiting for Dad. Joe just left with Anna to move a few things at the barn down the road. Jack, Josie and Amelia, however, were promised Ranger rides and fence building (the former being the big draw) at the “other” farm.
This got me thinking about this day, this Father’s Day. While some dads crave a Father’s Day round of golf, a nap, a nice meal prepped by someone else, the dads in my life are a bit more of a servant leader in the family. I’m not saying that golf or rest or a nice meal out isn’t the way to go, because, believe me, there are times I wish Joe had a hobby that didn’t involve hooves. However, when I went to find pictures of my kids individually with Joe, they’re all pictures of him guiding, teaching, coaching in whatever they’re doing. He’s the last to pep talk when they’re getting ready to go out on the field or the show ring or the stage, and the first to cheer or constructively guide when they head back to home base.
This works for me and my personality because the dad in my house and the dad I grew up with are quite similar in this way. Joe and my dad prefer to work and serve and lead alongside the children.
Fixing fence and working cattle are where some of the best talks Joe and our kids happen. He learned this very honestly. Working alongside his dad is still one of Joe’s favorite things in the whole world to do. He laughs about the conversation he and his dad had about college way up on top of a roof over 20 years ago. A deep conversation had amongst shingles, roofing nails, and the potential of falling off aforementioned roof.
My dad is the same way. Want to have a good conversation with him? Hop in the semi cab as he hauls grain. Dad would much rather show his love in trimming around my playset instead of a big, grand gesture. The “gas fairy” would fill up my car when I was home from college, and would also wipe down the interior of my little red car, just because.
I think this servant leader comes with our rural territory. Father’s Day looks different when your father is a farmer. There are some years that Father’s Day comes during a perfect time to bale hay. There are Father’s Days that are spent doing late spring field work (ahem, 2019). Whatever the job is, however, the Farmer Father is celebrated by honoring his hard work, dedication to the land, and perpetual to-do list of a herdsman.
I’m so thankful for the dad I was given and the dad my husband has become. What they lack in relaxation time, they overwhelmingly make up in having good work ethic, demonstrating shared leadership, and being shining example to our kids. There are days I wish we could just sit back on a boat or a golf course or even a movie, but then there’s the sweaty happy kids who come back with dad jokes, stories of rogue Ranger driving and memories that will set their parenting course in the coming years. We’ll go to the movie after evening chores tonight!
So to Joe and Dad, thanks for being a servant leader in our family.
Dad, thanks for being my biggest supporter. Thanks for showing me the value of hard work and being a good leader. I appreciate the feeling of a smoothly run meeting, a perfectly trimmed yard and Pepsi in a glass bottle because of you.
Joe, thanks for tackling this parent adventure we started 15 years ago on Father’s Day. We never would have known what today would have looked like, but I am thankful you are here with me to figure it out as we go along. I love you.